Can't anybody save me?!

There I was, at the top of a 90-story building. The police are trying to get me down, so I yell " It's no use. I'll jump and no one can save me! I love you mom!" and with that, I jump into a giant bowl of ice cream and I live happily ever after, until I get hit by a bus 3 times. But i'm not dead yet. I get up and walk away when a yak goes and tries to ram me, but it misses and hits a police car. The next thing people see is me bolting down the street with a giant yak chasing after me. I round a corner where a mob of Zombies awaits me. I jump and barely grab the ladder that my best friend michael put there the last time i came to this god-forsaken city. The zombies reach for me when sudenly the yak turns the corner and tramples the wave of zombies, killing them instantly for a second time. While the zombies are preoccupied by the yak i jump off the rail behind the yak and run for my life. I take the bazooka out and look at the ammo, one shot left.